Fragment: The Rise and Fall of James Baldwin

The following fragment from The Rise and Fall of James Baldwin was published in Lapham’s Quaterly, Volumen III, Number 1, Winter 2010, p. 175-176.  

"I was saved. But at the same time, out of a deep adolescent cunning I do not pretend to understand, I realized immediately that I could not remain in the church merely as another worshipper. I would have to give myself something to do, in order not to be too bored and find myself among all the wretched unsaved of the avenue. And I don’t doubt that I also intended to best my father on his own ground.

Anyway, very shortly after I joined the church, I became a preacher – a Young Minister- and I remained in the pulpit for more than three years. My youth quickly made me a much bigger drawing card than my father. I pushed this advantage ruthlessly, for it was the most effective means I had found of breaking his hold over me. That was the most frightening time of my life, and quite the most dishonest, and the resulting hysteria lent great passion to my sermons – for a while…"

*

Hoy quiero leer sin parar. Leer, leer, leer. El vicio sagrado está despierto. Cuando leo, mis sentidos se prenden y me acercan al autor. Aunque siempre sea un viaje infructuoso, como todo vicio.  Estoy terminando El sexto sueño, alucinante hermosura de Marta Aponte Alsina. Acabo de empezar Four Taxis Facing North por Elizabeth Walcott-Hackshaw, a quien tuve a fortuna de conocer en Trinidad. También estoy re-leyendo algunos poemas de Martín Espada y Nicolas Guillén. Y, por último, me gozo la edición más reciente de la revista Utne. Llegó ayer junto a otro regalo: El cd Las 7 Salves de Magdalena por Raquel Z Rivera & Ojos de Sofía.

Mis ojos parecen bolas de billar rodando de una esquina a la otra. La histeria no es aparente, pero quien entre a mi cabeza podrá verse volando bajito sin un punto fijo hacia donde mirar. Hoy es sábado, debería soltar este teclado, y correr un par de millas. Sí, eso haré.

*Transcribir el tremendo fragmento de James Baldwin es una forma rápida de apaciguar mis ganas. Los dejo con su autor: